Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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