Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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