The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
