Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
