Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
