Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
