1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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