scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
