I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
