Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
