i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
