so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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