I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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