i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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