grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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