After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
