Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have already put on my inside pants.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
