I seem to have left my pride at pride
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize