kristin has been a bad kristin
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize