Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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