that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
