Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No subtext here. People are naked.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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