Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
