Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
