Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
