Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
