By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
