I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
