Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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