Christians are straight up FREAKS
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
