I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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