wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
