your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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