I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My pussy is not your playground.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
