I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
