you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
