Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
