She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
