four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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