You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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