Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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