new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
