I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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