I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
