You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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