I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't think brook has ever known best
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
