We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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