Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
