To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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