New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
