thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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