I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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