Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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