dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You need Xanax blowdarts
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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