The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
