dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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