You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
