She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
