apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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