so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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