? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
